Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
