I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
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