It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
