Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
there's paper in my vomit.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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