I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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