hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
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