toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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