Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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