It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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