I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
How does one acquire holy water?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
