i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
third nipple confirmed
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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