yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
