So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
