I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
