idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
