How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
