Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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