So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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