Having a random hookup so left but love u
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
