told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
