Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
