It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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