If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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