i think i have two assholes
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I have already put on my inside pants.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
