Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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