Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
