he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
