I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He did a backflip because drugs
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
