Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
