Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
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