Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
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