butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
