Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Dignity is for republicans.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize