VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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