I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
