Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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