just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
