Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
