and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
