i don't like sucking hair
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
