For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
