Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
