Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
