I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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