I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
