Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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