we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
