How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
