Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
