I'm going to jail i love you
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I don't think brook has ever known best
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
