Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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