I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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