If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
