In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize