just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I think I sprained my soul last night
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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