didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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